Razzle Dazzle

So, there has actually been a decent reason for my brief blog hiatus.

First, I've been putting way more energy into my hockey blog, trying to get increased readership and just simply getting it off the ground.

Secondly, I've spent the past two weeks in Daddy Boot Camp. Fortunately, said boot camp didn't take place in a barb wired, fenced-off campground, but in the confines of a maternity ward and my own home.

You see, my wife is about a month away from her due date and boot camp started with a misunderstood text message from the ole' Commander-in-Chief that said "I'm being admitted to the hospital." Considering the Chief didn't have any scheduled appointments at the hospital anytime soon, my immediate assumption was that she was being admitted because the baby wanted out and she wanted out now.

Upon my arrival at the hospital, my fear that lil' Miriam was going to be greeting the world a month early was not at all dispelled by the nurses as my wife was moved into her own room. A birthing room.

This was when I had realized I had been enlisted in Daddy Boot Camp.

For weeks I had been living under the false assumption that I had another month to mentally prepare myself for fatherhood. Realizing I no longer had the extra four weeks to wrap my mind around the very real concept that I was going to be a father, I began to list all of the various things that needed to be done before the baby arrived. All of which I would not have any time to actually do.

Thankfully, Dr. Drill Sergeant arrived just in time to save his new recruit from wetting his pants at the prospect of needing to find the cash to get a baby car seat within 24 hours. Sarge (our doc really doesn't fit the qualifications of a drill sergeant) informed me that they would just be keeping us over night for observation, and that he wouldn't want to induce labor until March 20th at the very earliest.

Six days, several nurses, and one near amniocentesis later, we were finally out of the hospital and back home. My training at the hospital prepared me for living like the walking dead, but my training at home would show me that the hospital was just the beginning...

TO BE CONTINUED...