R.I.P. Heath Ledger

It’s so odd. I don’t even know this guy on any personal basis. Yet there I was having this momentary panic thinking, “This is actually happening, this isn’t a stunt or movie promotion. He really is dead.”

If you’re a movie buff or have a friend that enjoyed even one of his movies, you know by now that Heath Ledger was found dead in his New York apartment earlier today. As of right now the cause of death hasn’t been released, but speculation has begun due to a bottle of pills found near his body. I don’t really care to speculate on the manner of his death, the thought of doing so pretty much makes me a little ill. Not because I’m caught in admiration from afar of a movie star that just died, but mostly because I really know nothing of the situation and it’s a matter of respect to those that Mr. Ledger left behind.

I believe I’m mostly shell shocked because of the impact Heath Ledger’s work and the little I’ve read about him has had on me. I honestly can’t remember many days where I haven’t had the line from his film, 10 Things I Hate About You, run through my mind as a reminder to myself: “Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t have what you want.” Nor will I forget a Rolling Stone interview in which he ranted about mass marketing, using Coca-Cola as an example. Coca-Cola, as Ledger put it, tastes like shit. Yet it’s the most popular drink in all of America, maybe the world all due to mass advertising. For some reason, the way he passionately spouted on about the subject stayed with me.

To top it all off, the man seemed to have pulled off playing the greatest foe of my all-time favorite character. My second thought upon hearing of Ledger’s death was that when the sequel to Batman Begins premiere’s later this year, The Dark Knight will be made in the honor and memory of what could have been one of this generation’s most talented actors.

So, somewhat selfishly I sit here venting over someone I did not know. Maybe that makes me human, maybe something worse. Either way, I thank you Heath Ledger for the work you left that inspired me and many others in ways you likely would never know. I pray for the family you left, most of all the little girl that will never know her father. Twenty-eight is just too soon to go.

Wise men say...

On the way to the restroom this morning, I picked up a book that my wife has had next to our bed for several weeks. I had recently finished a book that served as both bathroom reading and insight to my impending fatherhood, and was in need of something new to pass my time on the throne.

The book, a guide for freelance writers, has served as a beginner's manual for my wife as she attempts to start a career in freelance writing. During the months since Marie bought this guide, she has taken the time at random moments to share with me, whether welcome or not, the insights that she has gained into the field of freelance writing. Attempting to be a good husband, I’ve humored her and listened to these insights while not having any genuine interest in the subject; until this possibly fateful trip to the john.

You see, earlier this week I wrote in my personal journal for the first time in nearly three years. After writing an entry, I perused through a few past entries and came across two in which I wrote about a desire to write and create fiction during my college years. I also wrote about a memory from my childhood in which I began writing a fictional Batman tale; I never completed the story, but as a I recall, it was quite impressive for a ten-year-old.

Why do I mention these dreams of old? As of recent, I have been spent a great deal of time contemplating what I hope to do with my life and the profession that I wish to pursue. Among those that know me, it is well established that I wish to pursue a career in coaching hockey. With that being said, it is also well known how difficult such an occupation can be: absolutely no job security, constant travel, and the pay in most positions is not great. On top of all of this, there are only so many paying coaching positions and an infinite supply of individuals that hope to gain said positions.

For those very reasons, I have been contemplating what I need to do to ensure the security of my life, career, and family. Among the many other options I have considered, writing has seemed to stand in the forefront as a viable possibility. How so? Throughout my academic career, I have been complimented numerous times on my writing ability, even having been asked by a professor if I was an English major (and no, it was not an math professor that would take anything written on a piece of toilet paper to be a masterpiece). Also, I believe that writing is one of the very few professions I can think of pursuing in my life that, besides hockey, would give me a sense of satisfaction about my life and career.

So it looks as though today I am beginning a new adventure. I have much to learn about freelance writing, and luckily I intimately know someone that has already done much of the leg work that is necessary for finding out the information I am in need of. Leave it to me to have an epiphany while sitting on the toilet.